Mother's Day

Today, I wished my mom a happy Mother's Day at the cemetery.

And I cried. Usually, the big days don't get to me. Her birthday, Mother's Day, the day she died...most of the time, I make it through these days without struggling. Today was different.

I went to one of my best friend's graduation party, and on my way home I realized what day it was. I decided to go to the cemetery because it had been awhile, and I was in a good mood. I thought I would talk to her for a little while, and then come home to study. When I walked up to her stone, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the week ahead of me. I have two days left of high school, and I graduate on Sunday...without my mother. My graduation party is on Saturday, and she won't be there to celebrate with me. When I walk across the stage to get my diploma, I won't see her in the audience. She won't be a phone call away as I push through my first year of college. I stood in the middle of the cemetery and cried.

I have a feeling this week will be rough for a lot of reasons, but I have some of the best friends on the planet to help me get through it.

On Mother's Day, children are supposed to honor their mothers. Even though mine isn't here anymore and I need her more than ever, I still celebrate the bright, beautiful woman she was:

Dear Momma,

Happy Mother's Day! This is the third year you've been absent. I miss you very much, but I see you almost every day. It's been raining often, so everything is green and blooming. I see you in the flowers, and I see you in the trees. I see you in the stars at night, and I hear you in everything musical. When an oriole lands on the bird feeder, I hope it's you. I see and hear you in all of the beautiful things in my life. I love you more than I could ever put into words...always and forever.