So much has happened since the last time I wrote a post. I graduated with honors and received my Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education. I was accepted into an accelerated Master's program. I got the job of my dreams at an incredible school working with incredible people. I get to marry the sweetest, most amazing man in just over a year. It all happened so fast that I haven't really taken the time to reflect on what it all means for my life and my future.
As I sat down and began to reflect on the last few months, I lost it. Seriously. I've been so preoccupied with setting up my classroom, planning for the first week of school, finding a venue, and finishing homework assignments that I forgot to be grateful. I forgot to thank the people in my life who helped me get here and I forgot to thank God for the blessings he has provided me this year.
First: My family. What would I do without you all? When I didn't have the most important person in my life, you all stepped in to fill in the gaps. You pushed me and you encouraged me and most of all, you loved me through the hardest times in my life. Because of you, I've never felt alone and I always strived to succeed. My grandparents (on both sides) taught me the importance of kindness and love and were examples of what those concepts looked like. My sister has taught me so much, even when I didn't want to hear it. The new family I have gained through my fiancé was meant to be my family. And my dad... he is a very special guy. When I was diagnosed with MS and didn't understand any of it, I needed him to be level-headed and strong for me and that's exactly what he did. I really can't put it into words how much I appreciate him, so I'll leave it at this: I couldn't have asked for a better dad and God knew what He was doing when He made me his daughter.
My friends: I have so many people to be thankful for that it would take me a year to list them all. These people have alleviated stress, comforted me in times of sadness, talked me through fears, and listened when I needed to vent. They take my mind off the hardest parts of life and lead me to a more positive outlook. I'm so lucky to have constant, true friends who have been with me since high school but I've also been blessed with new friends who encourage me to be a better person. I also wouldn't have met Brett if it weren't for my friends, and that's pretty special. The family I have gained at my new school has already made me feel at home and I have a brand new circle of friends who have welcomed me with open arms.
Brett, who has been the most unexpected blessing in my life... he has made me feel so loved and supported through all of my STUFF this summer. He has seen more tears than anyone and he has stayed by my side through it all, holding my hand and guiding me in the right directions. I'm so lucky that I get to be his wife next year!
Finally, my mom. Sometimes she feels so far away and my heart drops at the thought of losing her seven years ago this Sunday. I still question God all the time, just like I did on the Friday afternoon that changed my life forever. Why did she have to go when she did? Couldn't she have stuck around until I had graduated high school? Couldn't she have been there to be my shoulder to cry on through my first breakup? What about when I was diagnosed with MS? Or when I got my first real job? When the love of my life asked me to marry him? What about last week, when I found out I finished my first four graduate classes with a 4.0? After 7 years, she's still the first person I want to call when something big happens. I don't think that will ever change. But here is what I know: she pushes me when I need it. She catches me when I'm falling. She holds me when I'm scared. Because of her, I know how to talk to students who are grieving. I know how to support the kids who just CAN'T on a Tuesday afternoon because I've been there. I know that when one of my girls feels like the world is against her, it's OK to let her cry it out. We haven't had the same experiences, but I know I'm equipped with the empathy I need to work through it with them. I will always be wounded... but I will also be a lover, a teacher, a listener, a helper, a giver, a comforter, a hugger, and a fighter.
I will conclude with a quote from my very first blog post, age 17:
I'm so thankful she's always watching over me... healing the wounds.
