"I love you."
Three simple words. Three simple, powerful words that I never said enough.
My mom asked me every day when I got home how school was. I always said the same thing. "Fine." Sometimes it wasn't fine. Sometimes boys hurt my feelings. Sometimes my friends and I weren't getting along. Still, I said the same thing. I'd give anything now to tell her every detail.
I'd do anything to tell my mom how much she meant to me. To be completely honest, we didn't get along a lot of the time. We would argue, I'd slam my door and text my friends explaining how unfair my mom was being. But I'm a teenager. How else am I supposed to treat my mom, right? Daughters and mothers don't get along. That's the way it's supposed to be. Except I would do anything to take it all back. I would do anything to hug her and tell her how much I loved her.
When I found out my mom only had a few hours left, I knew I had to talk to her. I didn't know if she could hear me, but either way, I needed to let her know how I felt. I went into her room that afternoon and told her I was sorry. I couldn't bring myself to tell her all of the reasons why, just that I was sorry. I was sorry that I didn't tell her I loved her every single day. I was sorry for all the times I slammed my door. I was so sorry that I wasn't more understanding when she hurt so much from the cancer treatment. I was sorry I didn't spend more time with her. I was sorry I couldn't help her...I was sorry I couldn't take away the hurt. I was sorry I was disappointed when she couldn't come to my concerts because she didn't feel up to it. I was sorry I didn't care more than I did. Mostly, I was sorry I couldn't take it all back and start over. I was sorry she would never know how much she meant to me.
If you're reading this, please tell your mother how much you love her. Tell her EVERY DAY how much she means to you and how much you appreciate everything she does for you. I wish I had known how important it was. I wish I could do the same.
You were the best mom to me I could have ever asked for. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you enough. I love you Momma, always and forever.
